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New [21 Jun 2016|10:02pm]
getmeoutpls
01. Whats your name?: Bree
02. Age, Birthday?: 16
03. Form of SI?: Cutting (sometimes hitting)
04. Why do you SI?: Helps me cope and to feel a sense of control
05. When was your first time? What did you use? When I was 13 I tried using like 3 different things non worked well but I ended with the sharp end of a math compass
06. Where do you most often SI?: Switches between my ankle (left), hip/thigh area (right) and lower arm (left)
07. In what room/area do you most often SI?: Bedroom
08. What do you use?: Single blade I buy at Home Depot
09. Do you hide it?: Can't at work (short sleeve polisy) but otherwise I do my best
10. Do you listen to music while you SI?: Not usually (very very rare I ever do)
11. Anyone know?: Yes, doctors, therapist, friends, co workers family
12. Eating Disorders?: Just disordered eating but I don't see it as a problem
13. Mental Disorders?: Depression, anxiety and ptsd
14. What would you do if you found cuts on your best friend?: Ask her about it but not try to change him/her
3 broken  [break the silence]

New...Hi [17 Jun 2016|12:08am]

deepdrysugar
1) What's your name: A just Ag

2) Age,Birthday: 17 near to birth 18

3) Form of SI : scratching and biting...Cutting

4) Why do you SI: Helps me to relieve stress and calms me down,sometimes keeps me awake

5) When was your first time? What did you use? : 4 or 3.5 years ago, i used an eraser and long - pointy nails.

6) Where do you most often SI?: feet area (heel,ankle and the down part of the calf) hand-fingers,inner lips and shoulders

7) In what room/area do you most often SI?: Any place when is scratching or biting,with cutting in the bathroom or bedroom

8) What do you use?: Still using my nails but in a stronger way,lemmon,my teeth and knifes

9) Do you hide it?: Yes


10)Do you listen to music while you SI?: Yes

11) Anyone know?: Im planning to tell my best friend but at the moment anny body knows

12) Eating Disorders?:  No

13) Mental Disorders?: Intermittent explosive disorder and intervals between insomnia and Hypersomnia

14) What would you do if you found cuts on your best friend?: Talk to her,let her get angry cry anything necessary that helps her feel better then ask why is the reason and promise her fight with her
[break the silence]

First Entry [12 Jun 2016|09:11pm]
hollow_bitch
01. Whats your name?: lucy
02. Age, Birthday?: 16
03. Form of SI?: cutting
04. Why do you SI?: habit, it helps with coping
05. When was your first time? What did you use? about 4 years ago, used nail scissors and razor blades
06. Where do you most often SI?: a few places, legs, arms and stomach
07. In what room/area do you most often SI?: bedroom
08. What do you use?: pencil sharpener, razors
09. Do you hide it?: depends who with
10. Do you listen to music while you SI?: no
11. Anyone know?: some family, a few friends
12. Eating Disorders?: had anorexia, physically but not mentally overcome. relapse from time to time.
13. Mental Disorders?: depression, anxiety & ocd. edgyyy
14. What would you do if you found cuts on your best friend?: already did, we laugh about it.
[break the silence]

Suicide [26 May 2016|08:37pm]

piercetheveil5
I know no one will care but I just want to say that I'm sorry I'm such a failure at everything I try to do. I'm sorry I'm not beautiful. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted. I'm sorry I self harm. I'm sorry that I hurt everyone. I'm sorry that I'm not mentally healthy. I'm sorry that I'm such a useless waste of space but I hope that it will all be over soon. I really hope I will go through with this. I can't do it anymore. I'm just sorry for everything.
2 broken  [break the silence]

. [19 May 2016|09:14pm]
that_numb_feel5
01. Whats your name?:hannah
02. Age, Birthday?: 14
03. Form of SI?: Cutting
04. Why do you SI?: it makes me feel numb and helps me cope with things
05. When was your first time? What did you use? about 3 years ago, i used a razor from a shaving razor
06. Where do you most often SI?: Used to be wrists and arms,
07. In what room/area do you most often SI?: bedroom
08. What do you use?: pencil sharpener razors and box cutter razors
09. Do you hide it?: Yes
10. Do you listen to music while you SI?: yes
11. Anyone know?: my close friends
12. Eating Disorders?: Yes, Bulimia Nervosa
13. Mental Disorders?: Yes, depression, anxiety, bipolar, and ODD
14. What would you do if you found cuts on your best friend?: sit them down and talk to them about it and why they did it
[break the silence]

Veteran. . .returned [18 May 2016|01:52pm]

ext_3671865
01. Whats your name?: Ally
02. Age, Birthday?: 26
03. Form of SI?: Cutting, burning, biting, hitting, pinching, hair pulling
04. Why do you SI?: coping from mental & physical abuse and more recently drug addiction
05. When was your first time? What did you use?: Age 10/11- cutco steak knife
06. Where do you most often SI?: Used to be wrists and arms, now upper thighs mostly
07. In what room/area do you most often SI?: bedroom/bathroom
08. What do you use?: Pocket knives, kitchen knives, lighters, matches, nails.
09. Do you hide it?: Yes
10. Do you listen to music while you SI?: Not usually
11. Anyone know?: Yes, a few people... Its been 16 years.
12. Eating Disorders?: Yes, Anorexia/Self Restriction, yo-yoing
13. Mental Disorders?: Yes, Bipolar/Manic depression, Anxiety,multiple Social disorders, psychosis, extreme paranoia/delusion disorder
14. What would you do if you found cuts on your best friend?: Ask if they have everything under control
[break the silence]

Emily [05 May 2016|03:29pm]

emilyblood
01. Whats your name?: Emily
02. Age, Birthday?: 19
03. Form of SI?: cutting, bruising, burning, starvation, drowning(or just oxygen starvation), over medicate, intentional vomiting, not preventing myself from coming in harms way, drugs
04. Why do you SI?: 1) Traumatic events 2) self control 3) self hate-blood 4) It's a way of life now 5) bpd
05. When was your first time? What did you use?: Aged 14, Pencil Sharpener Blade
06. Where do you most often SI?: Humm, Usually thighs or wrists for cutting/burning, sometimes upper arm near to shoulder, tbh there isn't really anywhere I haven't hurt before, apart from the face and neck.
07. In what room/area do you most often SI?: Anywhere
08. What do you use?: Razor Blades, Craft knifes, surgical scapulae, a wide selection of knifes I have acquired, and again.
09. Do you hide it?: from everyone apart from my boyfriend
10. Do you listen to music while you SI?: Yes, quite frequently, however, I am nearly always listening to music.
11. Anyone know?: Boyfriend. GP ect
12. Eating Disorders?: Yepp
13. Mental Disorders?: Bi-polar, Depression, BPD, occasional Psychosis, Anorexia,
14. What would you do if you found cuts on your best friend?: See if they are ok and be there for them.
[break the silence]

New [06 Apr 2016|09:28am]
parkinglotroof
01. Whats your name?: Thomas (Prefer Tom)
02. Age, Birthday?: 16
03. Form of SI?: cutting, bruising, burning, starvation, drowning(or just oxygen starvation), over medicate, intentional vomiting, not preventing myself from coming in harms way i.e if someone tries to hit me I let them rather than being defensive.
04. Why do you SI?: 1) Lack of will to live 2) Hate my own existence 3) Method to internalize anger rather than lashing out at others 4) It's a way of life now
05. When was your first time? What did you use?: Aged 10, Pencil Sharpener Blade
06. Where do you most often SI?: Humm, Usually thighs or wrists for cutting/burning, sometimes upper arm near to shoulder, tbh there isn't really anywhere I haven't hurt before, apart from the face and neck.
07. In what room/area do you most often SI?: Anywhere
08. What do you use?: Razor Blades, Craft knifes, surgical scapulae, a wide selection of knifes I have acquired, and again, just about anything even broken glass off the street if I have no other - As for burning I am a fan of candles, although matches can be good too, lighters are just too much bother.
09. Do you hide it?: Not really, depends, if it's strangers I don't really care, and neither with family, but if it is someone I really care about then I may roll down my sleeves.
10. Do you listen to music while you SI?: Yes, quite frequently, however, I am nearly always listening to music.
11. Anyone know?: Not many people that don't
12. Eating Disorders?: Yup
13. Mental Disorders?: Bi-polar, Depression, Schizophrenia, occasional Psychosis, Anorexia, MUPS(Conversion Disorder), and a smattering of others
14. What would you do if you found cuts on your best friend?: Don't have one XD Meh, The standard procedure is to leave them to it, but be sure to pass it along to my therapist, who will no doubt contact them, ah the joys of the NHS
[break the silence]

new... [04 Apr 2016|04:24pm]
amyjlm
01. Whats your name?: Amy
02. Age, Birthday?: 14
03. Form of SI?: cutting, bruising
04. Why do you SI?: it started as a coping mechanism but got addicted
05. When was your first time? What did you use?:10, safety pin
06. Where do you most often SI?: stomach
07. In what room/area do you most often SI?: bathroom, bedroom
08. What do you use?: razorblade, knives for cutting and anything blunt for bruising
09. Do you hide it?: yes
10. Do you listen to music while you SI?: sometimes
11. Anyone know?: one very close friend
12. Eating Disorders?: no
13. Mental Disorders?:BPD, anxiety, depression
14. What would you do if you found cuts on your best friend?: ask them why etc
[break the silence]

Hi.. I'm new here [17 Mar 2016|09:26pm]
jessey1987
01. Whats your name?: Jessey
02. Age, Birthday?:
03. Form of SI?: cutting, bruising
04. Why do you SI?: to make the shit stop for a second
05. When was your first time? What did you use?: 15, a mathematical compass
06. Where do you most often SI?: arms, legs, stomach
07. In what room/area do you most often SI?: bathroom
08. What do you use?: razorblade, knives, glass shards, scissors
09. Do you hide it?: no
10. Do you listen to music while you SI?: sometimes
11. Anyone know?: my husband and a few friends
12. Eating Disorders?: was treated for body dismorphic disorder
13. Mental Disorders?: pcd,depression
14. What would you do if you found cuts on your best friend?: I have and we cut together
[break the silence]

I'm new [12 Mar 2016|05:55pm]
megansaurus

01. Whats your name?: Megan
02. Age, Birthday?: 18, May 1st
03. Form of SI?: cutting and biting
04. Why do you SI?: because it feels good and blood is pretty
05. When was your first time? What did you use?: i was about 14 my first time and i used a staple
06. Where do you most often SI?: on my thighs
07. In what room/area do you most often SI?: my bedroom
08. What do you use?: razorblade, knife, pencil sharpener
09. Do you hide it?: yes
10. Do you listen to music while you SI?: sometimes
11. Anyone know?: my best friend
12. Eating Disorders?: i used to purge
13. Mental Disorders?: major depression
14. What would you do if you found cuts on your best friend?: I know she cuts already so I wouldnt do anything.

[break the silence]

New [22 Feb 2016|03:01pm]
anomaly116
[ mood | bored ]

01. What's your name? Megan
02. Age, Birthday? 21
03. Form of SI? Cutting
04. Why do you SI? Because it's easy.
05. When was your first time? What did you use? 5 years ago, pencil sharpener blade
06. Where do you most often SI? Thighs and stomach
07. In what room/area do you most often SI? My room or the shower
08. What do you use? Razor blades (not the ones for shaving), exacto knives
09. Do you hide it? Yes
10. Do you listen to music while you SI? Yes
11. Anyone know? Close friends and my boyfriend
12. Eating disorders? No
13. Mental disorders? Borderline Personality Disorder
14. What would you do if you found cuts on your best friend? Ask them how long it's been going on, why they do it...

[break the silence]

I am sorry in advance if anyone is offended by this [04 Feb 2016|12:30am]

weirdofromsocal
[ mood | Severely Depressed ]

So I am new to Livejournal, and it def. has an interface that I am not used to yet, so I hope this comes out okay. And I really hope that I do not offend anyone here...I am just trying to be honest and do not know where else I can talk about this kind of situation.
As you read my entry, you ought to quickly see that my situation is different that most of yours, so I won't really follow the set of 14 questions like most of you have done; instead, I will just give a lil introduction about myself and why I felt the need to join and post in the Pro SI page.

My name is Randy. I am a 29 year old male from Southern California. I don't really do any intentional self-harm or anything (besides things like punching wall studs as hard as I can when I get angry), but I do have an unusual interest in it. To put it simply, I would say that it is a fetish, but really it goes beyond the sexual connotation that the word 'fetish' implies; therefore, I really do not know what to call it. I am not trying to come off as a pervert or anything (which I very well might actually be *shrugs*), so I won't post details or anything about it right now; however, I will say that I group it under a large Sadomasochism category of interests I have, including things involving ED's and SI.
A lil about my psyche: While undiagnosed, I strongly believe that I have lived most of my life battling Dysthymia. Since I spent so many years of that going unchecked, I believe that It lead me to develop symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder, with bouts of moderate-severe depression starting during my early-mid teens. Now, almost 30, and since I let all of that go unchecked, the depression bouts are worse and more frequent; as well as, I think I may be showing early signs of Bipolar Disorder.
Well anyways, thank you for hearing me out. If anyone would like to chat, feel free to comment or message me. I'm just looking for people that I can talk to, and be 100% honest, without feeling ashamed or judged. :/

2 broken  [break the silence]

New. [01 Feb 2016|09:19pm]
victimiseme
[ mood | depressed ]

01. Whats your name?: ~
02. Age, Birthday?: 18, 10/03/1997
03. Form of SI?: Cutting, scratching, bruising and biting.
04. Why do you SI?: Self hatred, mainly.
05. When was your first time? What did you use?: When I was 10? I used a kitchen knife.
06. Where do you most often SI?: My wrists and thighs.
07. In what room/area do you most often SI?: Bedroom, bathroom or school toilets.
08. What do you use?: Sharpener blade, scissors, knife.
09. Do you hide it?: Yes.
10. Do you listen to music while you SI?: No.
11. Anyone know?: My parents knew but didn't do much about it. I think most of my friends know.
12. Eating Disorders?: No.
13. Mental Disorders?: I have depression, generalised anxiety, and social anxiety.
14. What would you do if you found cuts on your best friend?: Try to make them feel better and tell them I am always here to listen to them.

1 broken  [break the silence]

First Entry [20 Jan 2016|07:26pm]
misty01
01. Whats your name?: Caoimhe
02. Age, Birthday?: 14
03. Form of SI?: Cutting and occasional bruising
04. Why do you SI?: Self Hatred, I also tend to bottle up my anger...I let it out on myself
05. When was your first time? What did you use?: I think I did it without knowing what it was when I was about 9 or 10, I used to hit my head against the wall and hit my arms with the opposite fist. It never did much though because I was little.
06. Where do you most often SI?: My wrists, my thighs and my stomach.
07. In what room/area do you most often SI?: Bedroom.
08. What do you use?: Sharpener blade, scissors, knife.
09. Do you hide it?: Yes.
10. Do you listen to music while you SI?: Yes.
11. Anyone know?: My parents and friends found out last year and the year before, I stopped until they got off my case which wasn't that hard because they didn't do much about it. Then I started up again late last year.
12. Eating Disorders?: No.
13. Mental Disorders?: I have never been diagnosed but I have taken online tests which say I have severe depression.
14. What would you do if you found cuts on your best friend?: I have found cuts on one of my friends before, and being me (stupid) I went and told a teacher because they wouldn't talk to me about it.
[break the silence]

I'm new so ye [18 Jan 2016|09:09pm]
inkywolf
[ mood | depressed ]

01. Whats your name?: Anna
02. Age, Birthday?: teenager (don't wish to tell), April 12
03. Form of SI?: Cutting, writing phrases on my arms + legs
04. Why do you SI?: To help with depression and release self-hatred, mostly the latter
05. When was your first time? What did you use?: when I was 10, with my nails
06. Where do you most often SI?: Arms, mostly wrists
07. In what room/area do you most often SI?: My room
08. What do you use?: Razor blade
09. Do you hide it?: yeah
10. Do you listen to music while you SI?: not really
11. Anyone know?: nope
12. Eating Disorders?: none
13. Mental Disorders?: severe depression, ADHD and chronic insomnia (i guess that's a disorder i dunno)
14. What would you do if you found cuts on your best friend?: be very surprised because she never gets depressed, try to comfort her to the best of my ability

[break the silence]

Im new here [11 Jan 2016|12:27am]
invoke_emotion
01. Whats your name?: Prince
02. Age, Birthday?: 21, 07 july
03. Form of SI?: Cutting, purging
04. Why do you SI?: To release pain, to numb mind
05. When was your first time? What did you use?: 8, years ago guitar string
06. Where do you most often SI?: Arms
07. In what room/area do you most often SI?: Livingroom
08. What do you use?: Razor blade
09. Do you hide it?: I try to
10. Do you listen to music while you SI?: sometimes
11. Anyone know?: yes
12. Eating Disorders?:Anorexia, Bulimia
13. Mental Disorders?: Yes
14. What would you do if you found cuts on your best friend?: My best friend died September 16th 2015 so yeah
2 broken  [break the silence]

Hi [31 Dec 2015|12:18pm]
jbcutter82
I hope that everybody here has a happy new year! :)
[break the silence]

[01 Jan 2016|12:05am]
nevergoneback
I struggled with self harm and the many beasts inside me for years, years of endless torment and insane torture. It's new year and I want to leave a very old part of me in permanence. I haven't undergone any forms of self injury in a long time and have stopped seeing my psychologist about half a year ago as she was very nice, but also thought she had a super good understanding of my thought processes when In reality she didn't have a clue of how I operate. I have been off Lovan (SSRI) for a really long time now, but I can't remember a lot of the past year or two due to many unimportant things. I want to answer these questions, but they have to be in the past tense to correlate with my life.

Question 7 is basically question is for all intents and purposes question 6 so I replaced it.

01. Whats your name?: Not important
02. Age, Birthday?: 15, not important
03. What were your forms of SI?: Cutting or slicing, scratching and burning. Sometimes bruising.
04. Why did you SI?: Because it was all I had. In the deepest darkest moments of my depression, even my family wouldn't recognise or acknowledge that I was ill. It was my drug of choice and doing it felt so right. Even after all the ruins I built upon and the great self control I have now, there's still some insane part of me locked away that still craves the burning flesh, and the stinging I was so addicted to.
05. When was your first time? What did you use?: The first time was in grade 6, when my signs of mental illness were benign and yet to develop symptoms. I used a the blade from a pencil sharpener to cut my arm.
06. Where did you most often SI?: My bed. I would sit in bed and slice the days away. And then I would sleep for so long, just to be away from the world and for a rest from my suicidal tendencies. And the first thing I felt when I woke, was the dulled stinging of old cuts. I would run my fingers over old scars and feel the crushing reality of my depression. I've only ever slept in tat room once since I recovered and I never plan to again. I would also often self harm at school as for a year I had no friend in the world. I would cut in often cut in class and would cut and burn in break.
07. What was your worst self injury: One rainy day in November I spent the day walking to a very high bridge with the intention of ending my life. On the way there I saw my old girlfriend who wormed her way into my brain and fucked me over psychologically o hard, it took me too long to remember to get over the pain. I couldn't jump. So i ran home and grabbed the knife I used to own and made a large incision on my left forearm, running over many old scars. It bled for so long... I can't quite remember.
08. What did you use?: Razors, knives, rocks, staples, lighters matches, car lighters, push pins, my fists and fingernails. Also I used an intense heatlamp to burn symbols into my flesh.
09. Did you hide it?: Yes, very well.
10. Did you listen to music while you SI?: no
11. Did anyone know?: My parents found out, which made me cut harder and deeper. I loved damaging myself, and damning myself.
12. Eating Disorders?: no
13. Mental Disorders?: I've conquered my depression, but I carry the shrapnel and the scars to this day. My anxiety disorder.. went up in smoke. I hold inside me the psychotic beast. He is the one that holds my primal urges and the power and rage inside me. He is locked away untill he is required.
14. What would you do if you found cuts on your best friend?: I cast my best friend out of my life without realising, one of my regrets. He'd never self harm, and I know this.
[break the silence]

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